Jail aside, having a little fling on the side has brought men lots of pleasure over the centuries. But at the same time, it’s probably brought equal amounts of headaches and stress as well. But regardless of all the risk that we’re all aware of when it comes to cheating; millions, if not billions of us still do it.
Of course I know the answer why; because sex with different women is fun and it feels good. Duh. But why do we on one hand say we’ll commit to one woman, but have our other hand up another woman’s dress?
In my article, Five Ways to Tell Marriage is NOT For You, I say that whether it was God or Science, men were dealt a bad hand when it comes to controlling our urges to conquer as many women as possible. There’s probably no other way to put it; we’re just wired badly I guess.
But regardless of how jacked up we’re wired, the one thing that always works is our brain; and more specifically our ability to reason and assess a right from wrong decision. We exercise this every day. Think about it; we as humans are instinctively a violent species. But through reasoning and understanding right from wrong, we don’t resort to violence to resolve all issues that we may encounter. Well, at least most of us.
So with that said, can men be monogamous? The answer is yes, of course we can. But in all fairness the question really shouldn’t be if we can be faithful; the real question is do we choose to be faithful?
Now here is where things get tricky. Because the way I look at it you’re one of three types of guy:
- You’re totally against cheating and will try your absolute best to never cheat.
- You’re against cheating (kind of), but you can see a few reasons why you would cheat.
- You just don’t give a fuck because we’re men, and this is what men do.
So whether or not we choose to cheat pretty much boils down to whether we feel cheating is acceptable or not.
Now I know some of you are saying “But sometimes it just happens. You can be drunk one night while at a bar or club, and next thing you know a woman’s head is in between your legs”.
Or some of you may be saying “Things are rocky in my marriage now. Me and the wife don’t show affection to each other. But Susan in the Marketing Department shows me attention, and one thing led to another and somehow we ended up in a hotel room naked”.
As far as the drunk situation, listen man shit happens. I don’t know how else to put it. If you’re out having a good time and maybe have one or two shots of Tequila too much, then yes you can make decisions that you normally wouldn’t make if you were not under the influence. But you and I both know that the “I was drunk” excuse does not work. It doesn’t work in the court of law if you get arrested for doing something stupid, and it damn sure won’t work with your wife either. So all I can tell you is drink responsibly.
But the situation where the marriage is not on the best terms, or is even on bad terms, still isn’t a green light to step out on your wife. We’re all grown men, we know this already. I’m pretty sure we call can rationalize reasons to justify cheating, but at the end of the day it’s just not legitimate. At that goes for any situation where we are in a non- inebriated state.
What it comes down to is our ability to exercise self-control. That’s pretty much it. We’re always going to be tempted. For some odd reason, having a ring on our finger attracts some women instead of being a deterrent. We’ll all be in situations where an offer for sex will be handed to us on a silver platter. Temptation always manages to be around the corner.
Let me correct myself. I know I said what it comes down to is our ability to exercise self-control, which is true, but what it really comes down to is if it’s worth the risk to not be monogamous?
Getting caught cheating has some huge consequences. Let me say again, getting caught cheating has some HUGE consequences. And the list of those consequences is longer than the list your mechanic gives you of things needed to be fixed on your car whenever you take it in for an oil change.
Your spouse could end up leaving you. Your family could be separated. What would the kids think? What effect would this have on the kids mentally? What would the rest of your family think? Divorce? Alimony? Child support? If your spouse stays, how long will it take to build the trust back? What if the chick on the side gets too attached? Or worse, what if she gets pregnant?
I don’t know about you, but I don’t know if there is a vagina on the planet that is worth all that risk.
But the reality is, to some of us it is worth the risk. Or, you can be a guy who’s lucky and have minimum to no risk at all. You could have been a guy who selected and married a woman that’s cool with you having sex with other women; or she’s bisexual and you both have threesomes with other women. There’s some woman who won’t leave you no matter how much cheating you do. Some men just have a situation where monogamy doesn’t have to even be considered in their relationship or marriage.
But for the rest of us, we don’t have it that good. So we’ll always have to weigh the pros and cons of being unfaithful. My last word of advice, choose wisely.
You don’t want to be that guy that goes from having his own Facebook page to the guy who ends up sharing a Facebook page with his wife.