The Fantasy Football Personas That We All Hate

August 19, 2017 Written By: 

It’s that time of year where we’re all gearing up for football season! You’ve already renewed your season tickets, you ordered a new jersey to start the season off with, and you’ve already engaged in trash talk with family and coworkers on how good your team will be this season.

In addition to the real football that takes place on the gridiron, there’s the fantasy football that takes place off it that involves millions of people across the country.  And fantasy football is serious business, especially to fantasy sports junkies such as myself.

But it never fails; there usually are those special characters in your league that walk the thin line between being humorous, and being flat out annoying. 

 

The Overbearing Commissioner

The commissioner of any Fantasy Football league is the key figure in making sure everything runs smoothly for all involved.  And to be fair, the commissioner has a lot on his or her plate to handle.  But it can be annoying if you end up dealing with a commissioner that really thinks they’re Roger Goodell. 

They haggle you about paying your entry fee in a timely manner, they bombard the league with unnecessary messages all the time, they reject trades for no logical reason, they make up rule changes out the blue; they essentially become an unruly dictator. 

 

The Complainer

There’s always that one guy that just seems to bitch and complain about everything.  He complains about trades other teams do.  He complains about the waiver wire.  He complains about the prize money.  He complains about the type of beer you have at the draft party.  And if his team sucks, his complaining is amplified times 10.  At times you just want to punch this guy in the face because he’s so annoying, but you remember that this is just fantasy and not reality so you refrain from doing so.

 

The Notorious Bad-Trader

Now this is the guy who is known to send absolutely ridiculous one-sided trade offers.  He’s the guy that will offer you a Flex WR and a backup Running Back for a stud Wide Receiver.  Or he’ll offer you three below average players for one of your stud players with the logic that him sending a higher quantity of players makes his offer rational.  In some cases this guy turns into The Complainer because nobody does any trades with him.

 

The Unprepared on Draft Day Guy

This guy becomes a nuisance when it comes time for the Draft.  Us prudent and diligent Fantasy Football players do our research and analysis well before the draft and we are equipped with our rankings and notes.  This guy on the other hand is completely unprepared, which is fine, but the problem is that they take forever making their picks because of their lack of preparation.  As a result, this drags out the draft even longer because you have to wait on this jackass to make his picks. 

 

The Fire Sale Trader

This is the guy whose team is so bad that his season is essentially over before Halloween.  With no hopes of making the playoffs because his team sucks, he all of a sudden starts trading away his best players to other teams in playoff contention.  You got to keep an eye on this guy, especially in money leagues, because 9 times out of 10 he probably cut a side deal with another team in the league to split the prize money if he trades with them and they eventually win the league championship.  Who says insider trading only happens on Wall Street.

 

The Tom Brady

This is the guy the whole league despises because he’s just flat out good.  He damn near wins the championship every year, and he talks a bunch of shit while doing so.  In fact a part of you does not care who even wins the league, as long as it’s not him.  He’s always bragging about how he’s won the championship, even long after football season is over.   He flaunts his championship trophy all over his Facebook page and has the nerve to tag you in the pictures.  There are sore losers, and there are sore winners; this guy without question is a sore winner.

Whatever the case may be, don’t let these guys put a damper on your fantasy season this year.  Fantasy Football is an overall enjoyable experience, and it’s another way for you and your buddies to bond.  Best of luck to you, and don’t let the Tom Brady guy beat you again. 


The quintessential men's guide providing expert tips, advice, and opinions on marriage, relationships, sex, fashion, fitness, parenting, sports, music, and much more.